3 years ago
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Fair is Coming to Town...
So I just got home from the infamous "spray tan"...in preparation for my dear friend Katie's wedding this weekend....which proved to be the most awkward and invasive procedure I've ever been a part of. Let me set the scene for ya...Cute college girl (size 0 on her biggest day) up at the counter..you know the real bubbly..I love life type.....asked if I was ready...of course I'm not because I was told to arrive in no braziere (still nursing)...and clothes I didn't care about..and FULLY EXFOLIATED. I'm not even sure how exactly you go about exfoliating, but I picked up some cream at the local dollar general and gave myself a good rub down before entering the local tanning booth. On with the story...I was told to strip down...what...strip down...I just had a child 3 months ago..so one thing was for certain Cute College Girl (CCG) was about to feel even better about her little self...after big mama with the nursing bosoms revealed herself.....wearing a hairnet no less...like a scene out of the school cafeteria gone bad..........YIKES.........So I closed my eyes as the FRIGID subzero mist began to hit my post pardom bod......again I say YIKES...I asked CCG if she was awkward...of course the answer was no...and why would she be....she felt like a million bucks at this point......so the torture lasted about 15 minutes...I have a lovely orange film covering me..was told not to shower for 12 hours...and not to sweat...well I jovially said to the CCG...'you can tell I haven't been doing enough of that...expecting maybe a "no..you look good for just giving birth"...INSTEAD..she replied..."maybe you'll be able to do something soon.." which would have been fine if I hadn't just ran 3 stinkin miles before I went............Needless to say I look like a GLORIFIED FAIR WORKER...just a bit dirty ya know?? On a side note the only reason I got the stupid spray tan was because I have to jump off the roof to fit into the bridesmaid dress for the weekend...sort of resembling a busted can of biscuits... and I thought a tan busted can of biscuits might be easier on the eyes..............who knew...If you want a real adventure...go get yourself one of these....makes for an excellent Thursday night....
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14 comments:
i totally hate CCGs. seriously.
here's to hoping you "have time to do something with yourself soon" :)
hilarious! i am glad i don't live in a college town with ccg's for my sake and for scotts. i hate them.
Our town is filled with CCGs.... They are the only reason that I take a shower and put on make up before I go out in public. seriously. Laura
hilarious!!! i am still laughing!
I went through that today! Except I had an old lady doing mine. :) least we'll all have some color!!!
meredith, you seriously crack me up.
i laughed out loud when you said you had to jump off the roof to fit in your bridesmaids dress = and the bisuits. omg, you are so funny.
hope this weekend is so much fun!!! cant wait to see pics on here (hint hint)
Perfect read for a Friday morning at work...
Oh Mere, you are so stinkin funny! Have fun this weekend!
hilarious. I did this for a wedding in October.
You should have done what I did - I went around the week before and interviewed CGG who would potentially have to see me exposed. I made my decision on the least threatening of them all. It turned out ok.
There is a place in Columbus that has a machine that sprays you down....I feel more comfortable with that! I feel your pain with CCGs....Who gets that dressed up to go to Wal-Mart??
Meredith, I was laughing so hard the entire time I was reading this story! Hope y'all have fun at Katie and Wyn's wedding.. Thomas and I really wanted to go, but no such luck with our jobs. :(
ps - your little girl is the cutest!
Hey Meredith! Long time, no see! I found your blog on LT's blog. Great to read about your cute little family, and your precious baby girl. I have two sweet girls, and they are so much fun! I must say your post made me lol so much! I hate going back to Starkville for this very reason. . . CCGs! You are still so funny. Keep up the good posts and glad to hear about you!
I would have ripped the sprayer from her (no doubt) perfectly manicured hands and shot her in the eye with it. Seriously I'm 5 weeks post-baby and I may not have anymore kids bc nobody-not my husband nor my gyno may ever be allowed to see me naked again...Go Meredith for running 3 miles before exposing yourself to the CCG! All I can do at this point is sit around and try and calculate exactly how many hours I sit around with one boob hanging out of my clothes. Run 3 miles, get a spray tan, be in a wedding.. you might be my hero you overacheiver.
I am so glad to find your blog!! This post has made me laugh out loud! You are hysterical! I heard the wedding was great...so glad to see some pictures! Know y'all all had fun being together!
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