The Fair is Coming to Town...

So I just got home from the infamous "spray tan"...in preparation for my dear friend Katie's wedding this weekend....which proved to be the most awkward and invasive procedure I've ever been a part of. Let me set the scene for ya...Cute college girl (size 0 on her biggest day) up at the counter..you know the real bubbly..I love life type.....asked if I was ready...of course I'm not because I was told to arrive in no braziere (still nursing)...and clothes I didn't care about..and FULLY EXFOLIATED. I'm not even sure how exactly you go about exfoliating, but I picked up some cream at the local dollar general and gave myself a good rub down before entering the local tanning booth. On with the story...I was told to strip down...what...strip down...I just had a child 3 months ago..so one thing was for certain Cute College Girl (CCG) was about to feel even better about her little self...after big mama with the nursing bosoms revealed herself.....wearing a hairnet no less...like a scene out of the school cafeteria gone bad..........YIKES.........So I closed my eyes as the FRIGID subzero mist began to hit my post pardom bod......again I say YIKES...I asked CCG if she was awkward...of course the answer was no...and why would she be....she felt like a million bucks at this point......so the torture lasted about 15 minutes...I have a lovely orange film covering me..was told not to shower for 12 hours...and not to sweat...well I jovially said to the CCG...'you can tell I haven't been doing enough of that...expecting maybe a "no..you look good for just giving birth"...INSTEAD..she replied..."maybe you'll be able to do something soon.." which would have been fine if I hadn't just ran 3 stinkin miles before I went............Needless to say I look like a GLORIFIED FAIR WORKER...just a bit dirty ya know?? On a side note the only reason I got the stupid spray tan was because I have to jump off the roof to fit into the bridesmaid dress for the weekend...sort of resembling a busted can of biscuits... and I thought a tan busted can of biscuits might be easier on the eyes..............who knew...If you want a real adventure...go get yourself one of these....makes for an excellent Thursday night....